How Do I Know When It's Time To Leave A Relationship?

Uncategorized Feb 05, 2020

I don't know if it is because V-day is approaching or WHUT, but I've been asked lately "how do you know when it is time to leave a relationship" more times than I can count lately, and so I thought I'd just leave this here in case you need a handy-dandy reference guide to remember your own worth.

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Initially I said that I’m not sure if you ever really truly know. But after reflecting on my own experiences this is what I have determined.

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You know that it’s time to go when staying you have to kill off parts of yourself for the relationship to survive.

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You know that it’s time to go when you’re standing in a room with someone but their eyes are fixed on the exit sign. They might be present with you in body, but they are not committed to you in spirit.

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You know it’s time to go when you realize that you have to behave a certain way to keep the peace. That it’s unsafe to be in full expression of your emotions. That there is no grace for your sadness, frustrations or wrong-doings.

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You know it’s time to go when words do not match actions. When the most beautiful and poetic sentences filled with emotion are setting a standard that human selfishness cannot meet.

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When one says they are committed but every action proves they are not, you know it’s time to go.

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You know it’s time to go when you are justifying why your needs weren’t met. “He didn’t text on Valentine’s Day because he was busy.” “He didn’t buy me a ring because he has other financial priorities.” These are all little lies and when you justify someone else’s poor behaviour you erode your own integrity in the process.

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You know it’s time to go when your partner no longer make compromises but you feel compromised.

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But the most important one is this: when you’ve tried everything you can to make it work and you are not met in that space, it is time to go. Staying will make you small.

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I wish I could tell you that commitment means what it used to mean. That two people say “till death do us part” and they mean it like Jack and Rebecca Pearson mean it. If you are asking “how do you know when it’s time to leave the relationship” the answer is in the question. “How do we make this relationship work” is a wholllllllle nutha answer.

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